Carine Topal

Apologia


I have amused my body, lord
came whole through the fire of a kiss, lord, leaving
the dishes, swathed in syrup, edged in crumbs, lord, left
the love of home and wept in his mouth with hope, lord, wept
in the entry of lust, until he too moaned, and I swear, lord, it was all
we could do to contain ourselves, lord, to keep us alive as we
repeated the sin once again, and though the angel above
my bed glanced down and winked, her ancient holy
eye, lord ─ a product of age, ashes and dust ─ this made me question the very act,
lord, and accept the wrath, that might come to me from you. Forgive me,
forgive the hands which tied me down, tied me up, lord, so that Adam, so that Eve ─
resurrected in this room─ could see the light, understand the mystery
of their hopeless beginnings, welcome the immense sacrifice which they made
from the fruit of a simple tree.
I have waited, lord, years, in the pocket of my thighs, to revile myself
in such a way. Give me hope with a word, his word, that soon,
another time, we will again, one upon the other, close to you lord,
close to the heaven that we made this time, sin.

 

Neon Behavior


Has your husband recently left you
have you lain in a fetal position for much of the day

have you secretly killed the one he left you for

has the notion of promise, of forever
squeezed its alphabetical fist in your still sexual mouth

have you noticed the thin-lipped clock
the stenciled body that has walked away from yours

how the boulevard parts

how right now you’re breathing in the mirror
testing for life or rain?

 

Carine Topal was nominated for a Pushcart Prize in 2004. In 2005, she was awarded residency at Hedgebrook, and a fellowship to study in St. Petersburg, Russia. She is the recipient of numerous poetry awards, including the 2007 Robert G. Cohn Prose Poetry Award from California Arts and Letters, from which a special edition chapbook, Bed of Want, was published. Her third collection of poetry, In the Heaven of Never Before, was published in December, 2008, by Moon Tide Press. She was honored with the Excellence in Arts Award from the City of Torrance, California and teaches poetry to adults and children and memoir to seniors in the Palm Springs and L.A. areas.